The Petty Potato

Because you can’t slap people

Let’s be real. Some folks don’t deserve flowers. They deserve a potato with their name on it—and a side of judgment.

This golden beauty is a Yukon Gold with attitude. Your custom message is hand-scrawled in permanent marker, because feelings fade—but pettiness is forever.

Whether it’s:

Thinking of you… unfortunately

Congrats on being the worst

A little something for your empty soul

This spud’s got your back.

Gift it solo or pair it with one of our candles for the ultimate passive-aggressive care package. It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and it’s aggressively undercooked emotionally. We will keep your little secret they will never know its you....Shhhh

Warning: May cause laughter, confusion, or spontaneous ghosting.